it's hard not to admit defeat

today i got a 3-month temping assignment at a very heartwarming and wonderful non-profit
--that's the good news --
the bad news being i've been placed there as a receptionist/administrative bitch. i really have nothing to complain about i guess, because i am gainfully employed while i search for a full-time job that i really like, but i can't shake the sinking feeling that i've graduated college with a BA and a double major and i won't be able to find any other jobs besides receptionist positions. this thought caused me to have a nervous breakdown on my lunch break.
there's no way i possibly could have spent 20+ hours a week in meetings and events in college (not to mention the time spent on coursework) to become a receptionist. right? there's no way that's fair or appropriate at all. there's no way there are an infinite number of people my age in new york city who are interested in the same jobs as me and are more qualified than me, right? for fuck's sake, there can't possibly be more than like 60 kids of comparable age in new york city right now who are applying for the same jobs as me and have more experience. seriously. i lived to be overextended in undergrad. i loved having absolutely no free time. i enjoyed that shit. how am i not getting noticed?
if there's anything i hate in life, it's being undervalued. and i'm feeling pretty fucking undervalued right now.
well, i interviewed for a job 2 days ago and i should know if they're hiring me within the next few days. so at least that's...potentially good. or potentially another piece of shit to add to the list.

in much better news, sam and i are going ROLLERSKATING here tomorrow night!!!!! if any of you new yorkers are around and want to come please give me a call. it's gonna totally make my week.

oh, right: and on sunday my dear old high school friends -- the utterly ridiculous pop-punk band patent pending -- are playing with andrew w.k. on long island. naturally i'm going. that will surely be a night to remember.

READING:
if on a winter's night a traveler by italo calvino
LISTENING:
my favorite book by stars
suffering jukebox by the silver jews (thanks sam)
all i need by radiohead