Thanksgiving Education

Well, I won. I won the successful cousin contest. This is awesome because it also means my mother loves me more as a point of comparison (though, I am in 2nd place in the sister category). There were many a feminism (my position) vs. birthing is life (theirs) discussions and I think they all must think I'm some kind of lipstick (PITBULLS!) lesbian.

But more importantly: I shot a pistol! A 40-caliber. We went to the outdoor range, I in my marc jacobs jeans and giant heels, my mother in her fur-trimmed coat. It snowed as I shot to my heart's content. Too much responsibility. But my mother seemed to enjoy it in a weird Annette Benning in American Beauty kind of way.

I also played my first game of Euchre - according to my father it's the national game of Upstate New York.

And lastly, my aunt joan wanted everyone to know that she was wasted for thanksgiving. She kept shouting "And you can tell everyone your aunt was sloshed at dinner". So I am.

Memories made.

And OMG-eezy how could I forget the traumatic recurring references to "30 days of love". My aunt and uncle are having sex every day from thanksgiving to christmas. It's the thirty days of obligation, ky jelly, mortification, lecherous uncles, and NIGHTMARES. It was brought up at least once each meal and then every 10 minutes at non-mealtime. Which might be why this was the least indulgent thanksgiving ever.