Dan & MMXBAL's Segscellent Adventure

Last week, Metromix paid for me to take a Segway tour of Baltimore. The results? A bunch of incriminating photographs, and a sprawling 2100-word rumination that they managed to chop down to 1800:

A Segscellent adventure

This article was also posted on the front page of baltimoresun.com today. Can I ever show my face in Charm City again?

The C------- Publishing Course begins Sunday, so I'm leaving for New York City this weekend. It's tempting to reflect on this past month in Baltimore (and that stray weekend I spent in Williamsburg), but I think I'll save my energy for a real rip-roaring dissection of C------- and its environs.

Until then, keep segging, and always wear a helmet.

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UPDATE: After spending a few hours on the front page of baltimoresun.com, the Segway article was posted on Fark.com, which earned Metromix a solid 7000 pageviews and a whopping 129 comments. The best are reproduced below:

"I've seen plenty of idiots on Segways down by the harbor lately, but none so conspicuous." --IrateShadow

"Kid, you're really not all the [sic] funny, but nice try..."
--KyngNothing

"I am not a violent person, but that story just made me want to punch that guy in the face."
--TheYeti

"Baltimore? --- Can that thing outrun a bullet."
--gulag

"helmets are for fags."
--mandingueiro

"someone should punch this guy in the face just for looking stupid"
--50 Cent Jesus

"Charm City, baby. Ball mer rocks! That is the doofiest looking Segway rider I've ever seen! However, the 'Segs in the city' name is cool."
--StewPie

BUT THE TAKER OF THE PROVERBIAL CAKE:

"Anybody with a name like 'Piepenbring' HAS to be a wanker."
--phartman

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BOOKS
Joseph O'Neill, Netherland
Paul Auster, The New York Trilogy

MUSIC
Neon Neon, Stainless Style
No Age, Nouns
Hella, The Devil Isn't Red
Aaron LaCrate & DJ Low Budget, Bmore Gutter Music (amazing cover art features a Drunk Oriole)